Life or Death...

Irritated today, which means the cork is coming out tonight.

Marriage.  At this point, all I can say is "Are you fucking kidding me???"

I'm Christian.  Which means I'm not supposed to be a fan of gay marriage.  Eh...I'm not the best Christian.  Two men or two women can absolutely love each other.  I personally have no problem with it.  The only time it's offensive to me is when I get hit on by another girl.  Then again, I take offense when I get hit on by a guy too.  My Bub didn't buy me all sorts of bling to have it be ignored by some perv with a complex.  Gay marriage isn't ruining the sanctity of marriage. 

Here's what's got me steamed:  where the hell did reality twist and marriage is supposed to be all rainbows and unicorns and sparkles and perfect all the time?  And who the hell said when things get tough, the best thing to do is quit and bail while you still have your money and youth?  I want to meet this person, at that time, and kick his/her ASS!!! 

First problem:  The "perfect" marriage.  I blame Disney.  Little girls, for generations, have been dreaming of growing up and meeting their Prince Charming, (at 16...and singing about everything, and being friends with animals...) marrying him, and living HAPPILY ever after.  Let me tell you what; this girl got a slap of reality when I changed in Bub's Jeep Wrangler on the way to the County Courthouse.  (Not that I would change a damn thing I love you Bub!) 

Marriage isn't happily ever after.  Oops, sorry, did I bust someones bubble?  Suck it up.  In our short 4 years of marriage, we've been through deployments, infidelity, lying, not knowing if our daughter would live or die, moving four times, disowning family, and HORRIBLE communication skills.  And if you ask either of us, any day of the week, any time of day, we'll both tell you that we are each other's soul mate, and best friend, and that we'll be together until we die; maybe even afterward, depending on how things work up there.  How, you ask?  Simple.  We don't give up.  When we got married, we both knew divorce was not an option.  Not "well, maybe if you get fat" or "if we ever fight we're done."  NOT and option.  Period.  The only way I would leave him is if he were to hit me or my children.  Well, he would leave.  The earth. 

News flash people: Marriage isn't about the good times, or even the great times.  Everyone has good times, or else they wouldn't have gotten married.  A good, strong marriage is based on the bad times.  The fights, the nights on the couch, the anger, the guilt, the fear, the loneliness, and the unrelenting doubt.  Those are the bricks and mortor of a great marriage. 

Now you're saying "Uh...what the f#$@ dude?  If I'm feeling all those things, why would I want to be married." 

Now I'm saying "Sit down, shut up and listen."

I know a couple who's been married for over 5 years.  Recently, she found out that he was doing things online that he wasn't supposed to be doing.  Blah-de-blah-de-blah...  they decided they needed to "take a break" from their marriage.  Literally "put it on hold" while they focus more on themselves.  For 6 months!!!  Anyone else see the problem here?  Let's count.
1)  What we have here is a learning experience.  Take this oportunity to say "I fucked up.  I'm sorry.  I'll do anything to fix it."  Or, "I'm upset with you, but I still love you, and I'm willing to give you another chance  Ah-ha!!  Bricks and mortor.  Go get counseling.  Watch Fireproof.  Do the Love Dare.  Duke it out for all I care.  But don't give up.  That makes you both weak.
2)  Hate to break it to you, but your marriage isn't about yourself.  Marriage is supposed to be selfless, for both parties.  Which, by deductive reasoning, means that both people are still satisfied, taken care of, and loved. 

This is only one example.  Cheating, lying, not communitcating...all solvable.  It's just a matter of how hard you want to fight. 

I liken this to survival.  Visualize with me:  You're at the gas station.  A guy walks in behind you weilding a shotgun, screaming about how America has gone to shit, and he's exterminating everyone who he believes is materialistic, glutonous, selfish...7 deadly sins stuff.  You have a Coach purse on your arm.  You might as well have a target painted on your forehead for all he's concerned.  What he doesn't know is that you have a 9mm in that cute little purse.  Now, he's looking at you, and you're looking at him.  His name is Divorce.  You are your marriage.  Who are you going to let survive? 

I think I've sparked enough fires tonight. 



Who are we kidding.  The cork comes out every night.